it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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