Someone shit on the floor
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
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