youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize