I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Randomize
