Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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