I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Randomize
