I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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