I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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