so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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