I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
