That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
