"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
