I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
