I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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