If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
