I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
