"it" just moved
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
