My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize