I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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