dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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