the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
