ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
