went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
