Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
