I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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