Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
