I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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