i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
