Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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