On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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