So drunk its hurt
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
