Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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