9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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