I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
