so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
