she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize