whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
