I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We're too hungover to prance.
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