I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
