BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
