im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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