seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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