If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
