We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
