READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
