Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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