you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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