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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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