nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
