i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
