Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
