Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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