Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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