i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Found the puke drawer
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
