Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
