I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
