I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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