Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
