He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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